The Obit

*I have asked my ex-spouse, with whom I have a congenial relationship, for permission to publish this piece. However, due to the nature of the content and the unfortunate possibility that some might post inappropriate comments, I have turned off comments for this reflection. Thank you for understanding.*

The book of eulogies I have written would not welcome an obituary on my marriage. But if the book would share a page for two, I would start with the end. I would choose the inspirational scripture, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” It’s a Proverb. And, true, for me.

Then I would write of all the virtues gained in a marriage lived and learned; and I would leave out the distasteful parts, the hidden arguments and the tension which ran into our gutters, stewing and restless, sloshing in the sewer of committed relationship. I would remind the gathered congregation of all this is good to come from such a union, and I would bid them make their peace and release into the hands of God the possibility of healing in that life. I would offer them the school pictures of my children and ask them to focus love and hope and kindness on a future yet to unfold. I would ask them to put aside any wandering curiosity to know the nature of the disease or the ill effects on the deceased. Rather, let it go, dears; let the mortality of the marriage be what it is. Decaying, the shell of what once gave life, now returns to the dust on my TV and the sand on the front stoop. From this dust, I believe, God made Eve and her Adam.

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